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Marriages for baseball players are difficult because the players travel a lot.
Illegal Procedure: Cheating and Pro Sports
No Matter What the Sport, Players Tempted by Travel, Adoration and Celebrity Status
By DIVORCE360.COM STAFF
Adultery in
sports isn't surprising to Doug Krikorian, a sports writer at The
Press-Telegram in Long Beach, Calif. The more time he spent covering
athletes, "I came to realize that marital infidelity was a commonplace
occurence on the sporting scene," Krikorian wrote in a July 12, 2008, column in the newspaper. The
issue of aduterous athletes isn't a new one. But it's certainly
garnered more attention since Cynthia Rodriquez filed for divorce
from Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriquez, alleging in court
documents that the marriage has been "irretrievably broken because of
the husband's extramarital affairs." A-Rod has been linked to several
women, including pop superstar Madonna -- a claim The Material Girl has
denied.
Whatever happened and with whom, it's not a suprising state of affairs, according to Peter E. Bronstein, a family law attorney with The Bronstein Schuck & Poller Group at Dreier LLP in New York. "Marriages for baseball players are difficult because the players travel a lot," he said.
A spokeswoman for the National Institute of Marriage, a non-profit Christian counseling service, said travel -- for athletes, celebrities
or business travelers -- often involves competition and sex can be used
as a way to celebrate everything from winning a contract to a winning a
game, according to a 2007 article in USA Today.
That's true, says relationship expert Brenda Della Casa, author of "Cinderella Was a Liar," which offers
advice from real-life relationships. "Any career that puts you in a
position where you are going to have access to adoring members of the
opposite sex and situations where every whim is going to be catered to
in terms of sexy vacations, clubs, etc. you are going to face
temptation. This is why there is so much cheating that goes on during
business trips and conferences. There is a sense of freedom and excess
that is not normally there."
Study results released in 2001
by Steven M. Ortiz, an assistant professor of sociology at Oregon State
University, suggested a "culture of adultery" permeated professional
sports. Ortiz, who presented his research on survival techniques of
athletes' wives at the American Sociological Association, interviewed
the wives of 47 different professional athletes in the four major team
sports - football, baseball, basketball and hockey -- over a four-year
period.
"One thing that I learned from the interviews is that
these women are strong," Ortiz said shortly after releasing the study.
"If they don't know what the lifestyle is like, they quickly learn. And
then they develop strategies to manage that ongoing stress."
"Money,
power and celebrity are all aphrodisiacs. They draw out temptation like
months to a flame. The problem is compounded because the sports figures
are on the road for protracted periods, (often) without their spouses,"
said New York divorce attorney Daniel E. Clement, who writes a blog about family and divorce law.
Jay P. Granat, a New York psychotherapist, author and founder of stayinthezone.com, which
focuses on helping athletes achieve peak performance, doesn't think
"infidelity is any more frequent amongst athletes than it is among the
general population." The issue, he believes, is that "some athletes are
used to getting a lot of adoration and attention and some have impulse
control issues."
It's not just professional athletes, said Dr. Gilda Carle,
relationship expert for match.com. "The thing about celebs, whether
they are sports figures or not, is that civilians throw themselves at
them. For better or for worse, famous people are made to be America's
royalty. Before they know it, the celebs buy into all the adulation they
get, and they begin to believe their own press. Sports personalities in
particular are body-consious, and their hormones drive them -- as well
as their fans."
Complicating matters, Granat said, "Because some
professional athletes have devoted so much time and energy to their
craft, they can be a bit undeveloped when it comes to sustaininga mature
and mongomous relationship."
California psychotherapist, Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., author of "The Commuter Marriage: Keep your Relationship Close While You're Far Apart,"
said "Pro sports is an area where grown men are encouraged not to be
emotionally adult. It's not necessary -- emotional maturity should make a
better player, not a worse one. But, a sports star is making money for a
lot of people, so they (can often) indulge his (or her) baser
instincts."
Still, Della Casa said it's not just athletes who
indulge: "Conservative estimates say 60 percent of married men and 40
percent of married women are unfaithful to their partners at least once
in their lives and they are not all rich or famous. You cannot prevent
anyone from placing your mental, emotional and physical health at risk
if they decide they want to cheat on you but you can sit down and
discuss your expectations and boundaries and have a plan for when a
partner is tempted and don't kid yourself, many good, decent people get
tempted, they just don't cheat."
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. She was his soul mate, but couldn't put up with his act.
